I Had ChatGPT Write This Article for Me
Judging off of the title, you might be thinking: “Neng, is this some sorry excuse to have AI write this article for you because you stupidly scheduled your article to be due the weekend before two midterms?” Liiiisten – I’m not going to confirm or deny that, but just hear me out?
We’ve all used AI before. Whether it’s to complete our math PSet, write our discussion posts, get some random piece of information, or have someone we can crash out violently to (I’m not judging), it’s safe to say AI has well integrated itself into our lives. Not that I wanted AI to write this article for me, but theoretically, if one was running low on time and procrastinated this article, could AI produce something to a comparable level? (theoretically, of course)
And so I gave my good friend Chat this prompt: Can you please write a two page screenplay for a scene in a new, modern Superman movie? This scene should take place in Metropolis, introduce the main and supporting cast, set up themes of Superman's identity/alienation/double life, and allow for a "title card" at the end of the scene.
Alrighty, let's see how our robot friend did…
FADE IN:
EXT. METROPOLIS – MORNING
A city made of glass and motion. Drones zip through traffic canyons. Giant digital billboards flash “DAILY PLANET LIVE: NEWS THAT MATTERS”. Last time I checked, Metropolis wasn’t this futuristic glass skyscape that revolved around the Daily Planet. Isn’t it based on New York? Whatever happened to concrete jungle?
The sun reflects off the DAILY PLANET GLOBE high above the skyline.
CUT TO:
INT. DAILY PLANET NEWSROOM – SAME
The hum of coffee machines and breaking news. A massive screen shows footage of an unidentified flying object streaking over the ocean. To me, it isn’t clear exactly what this “unidentified flying object” is… it’s described as streaking… is it Superman or an actual UFO?
PERRY WHITE (60s), a man built on deadlines and heartburn, barks orders. Okay… but what does he actually look like?
PERRY WHITE
Get me confirmation before the competition prints “ALIEN INVASION” in 72-point font! Literally WHO speaks like this?? Where’s Kent? Has anyone seen Kent?
LOIS LANE (30s), sharp, restless, camera-ready, strides through, phone in hand. Describing Lois as these three words really does not do justice to her amazing character in the comics (no pun intended). Lois would not be “striding” through– she’d be on TOP of this alien story, probably with a whole draft already.
LOIS
He’s probably in line at some diner trying to charm a waitress for quotes. You know — “the human angle.” This is actually such a terrible characterization of Clark Kent that I have to laugh… Why is he at a diner anyways? He and Lois specialize in crime and catastrophe in the comics. The quotes imply that Clark said that verbatim. Is his identity not a secret–why is no one batting an eye that he specializes in writing “the human angle?”
Perry gives her a look. Especially in a screenplay this could be more clear. A “look” can mean like 5 different things.
PERRY
The angle is that the sky’s falling way to not overreact!, Lane. Now go make it sound reassuring.
She smirks, already halfway to the elevator. Now this seems more like Lois.
CUT TO:
EXT. SIDEWALK CAFE – METROPOLIS – MOMENTS LATER
CLARK KENT (30s) sits alone, tie crooked, glasses slipping, scribbling in a notebook. His phone vibrates — breaking news alerts. Maybe this version of Lois just doesn’t know Clark that well because this characterization seems at least a little more accurate.
He ignores them, staring across the street at a giant digital billboard: a looping image of Superman saving a shuttle from last week’s disaster. I stand corrected – Superman would NOT ignore even the slightest possibility of saving a life to watch his own highlight. This is common sense I fear. The crowd around him cheers at the footage. Clark’s eyes flicker with unease.
A SUDDEN SHADOW crosses the street — a car teeters on a raised construction platform. A CHILD below, frozen. Can’t tell if I’m just slow but what is a car doing on a construction platform? And what is it doing hanging over random pedestrians?
Clark’s eyes dart — quick, calculating. Clark you have super speed, what are you calculating…
He stands, loosens his tie... then freezes as someone else runs in — JIMMY OLSEN (20s), clutching a camera, dives and pulls the kid away just in time. Gotta love some character assassination to set up an introduction for another character!
The car CRASHES harmlessly behind them. The crowd cheers.
Jimmy turns — sees Clark watching.
JIMMY
Kent! You see that? Front page! “Rookie Saves Kid from Falling Car.” Unless you were gonna, uh… help? I’m really confused who knows Superman’s identity in this rendition… this could definitely be more clear.
CLARK
You did just fine, Jimmy. Yes, if my best friend saved a child from being crushed by a car, I’d tell them they did “just fine” too!
Lois arrives, hair slightly windblown, snapping photos on her phone.
LOIS
Car’s brake system failed. No one hurt. But someone should really look into why half this city’s held together with drone tape. Lois, this is your job!
She notices Clark — eyes narrowing.
LOIS (cont’d)
You okay, Smallville? You look like you just saw a ghost. This seems like a random idiom for Lois to use and point out.
CLARK (softly)
Maybe I did. This is maybe the driest response that Clark could’ve given– c’mon, we can make a conversation more interesting than this.
She studies him. There’s something distant in his expression — a man living between two worlds. How could she possibly observe this. What does that even mean?
LOIS
Well, if the ghost talks, get me the quote by noon. This conversation really pains me.
Jimmy grins, showing Lois his photos.
JIMMY
Got it all. Even you mid hero-pose. I thought Jimmy was the one who saved the child? Whose hero pose?
LOIS (teasing)
Hero? Save it for the cape. What?
CLARK (under his breath)
Yeah… save it for the cape. This dialogue hurts me on a spiritual level. What does this MEAN?
His phone buzzes again — a *conveniently placed* message from Martha Kent:
“Don’t forget who you are, honey.” What could’ve possibly prompted Martha to message Clark this at this time…
He looks up at the Metropolis skyline — a reflection of himself in the glass tower opposite. For a split second, the reflection wears the Superman suit. Admittedly, I think this would be an effective and fire shot that grapples with his double identity.
He blinks — it’s gone. Just Clark again.
PERRY (V.O.)
(into newsroom intercom)
Planet staff — citywide blackout reported uptown. Possible attack. Move!
Clark’s gaze hardens.
He loosens his tie again. Reusing this I see.
The wind stirs. The crowd’s chatter fades into a hum of anticipation.
SMASH CUT TO BLACK.
TITLE CARD: SUPERMAN
Cue Theme.
Don’t worry screenwriters… AI won’t be taking your job anytime soon!
If you’ve made it thus far, I’m guessing you too survived the terrible dialogue of that screenplay. Is this not “the future of writing?” I’d expect the “future” to have a better understanding of plot structure and conversation. Unfortunately, using random catchphrases and idioms won’t make up for the lack of substance in dialogue. Conveniently timed events furthering the already broken plot would NOT fly with the demons on Letterboxd. Ignoring the *interesting* character choices and *attempts at* exposition, I did give AI a relatively hard task, and I'd imagine it’s hard for AI to fully characterize existing characters such as Superman or Lois. Regardless, I am also under the impression that a better worded prompt with more description would not have saved this screenplay (if you could even call it that). I really find it hard to believe AI could produce anything on the same level as a human. I can only compare this screenplay to Zach Snyder’s Man of Steel– the characters and dialogue exist, but this is NOT Superman.